God Is In Control

It all started a few months back. Some old friends were going through a touch time with illness in the family. Their daughter had cancer in her leg and there was chemotherapy and surgery, then more chemotherapy. Two close friends were both struggling and just needed a listening ear and support.

Our closet family friends announced a few weeks ago that they were thinking of moving - countries, not just across town. It felt like an important and stable anchor in life was being ripped up. Then I heard that a lady who was almost like a surrogate aunt-come-grandmother to me had cancer. An operation should fix the problem. A lot of effort has been put into gifts, cards and notes to show support.

This week, life started to crumble and this morning it caved-in. Our friends are definitely moving - maybe in just a few weeks. Then this morning we had an e-mail. Our old friends with an ill daughter had not got good news. Worst of all, although things were still looking good with the lady with cancer, her husband had just been diagnosed with an aggressive form of a pretty nasty cancer.

I felt like I was sinking. What exactly was going on here? Why was all of this happening? And why to all these people? I wondered around in a daze, showering and getting dressed auotmaticaly as I tried to grasp why all of this was happening - and why all at once. I couldn't cope with all of this right then and how on earth was I meant to be able to stretch myself out and help all of these different people? Why did stuff like this have to happen to such nice people? Where they going to die? Why wasn't God stopping this? Why?

I didn't have the answers this morning and I don't have them now. I still feel like I'm wondering around surrounded by a cloud. All the thinking and the emotions have made me exhausted - what must it be like for our friends who are going through all of this right now?

God is in control. He knows what He's doing and why all of this is happening. It doesn't feel like it. It doesn't look like it. How am I supposed to feel that everything - including all of this - is in God's control?

I don't think I am. I think that God understands. He knows how difficult it is to trust Him sometimes. He knows that sometimes it is impossible to feel like God is in control.

What I have to do is believe that God is in control. We are told in the Bible that everything is in God's control, so that is the way it is. No argument. That fact is what we have to hold on to. Take the truth and hold onto it. Believe that God's word is true and even though you don't feel that God is in control, know that God is in control. Sometimes we can only get as far as the cold, light-of-day head-knowledge. God is merciful and compassionate and I believe He takes that cold, light-of-day head-knowledge and He takes care of the rest.

Right now, whether or not I feel it, the truth is there to be taken firm hold of - God is in control.