The Next Grey Moment

It's been a grey kind of day today. The weather has been grey, threatening rain every minute, but I've also been grey inside. All my sunny, bright colors have somehow been merged together into a murky, messy grey.

My alarm went off this morning long before I was ready to wake up. I hadn't got enough sleep and as I slowly surfaced, the grim weather outside slowly but surely crept inside. By the time I was up and dressed the world was looking far from sunny and I was stomping around in quite a mood. Nothing seemed to go right as one thing after another went wrong. I snapped at my sister more times then I care to name and felt like kicking the computer when I checked my e-mail and found that nobody had written to me.

What had happened to a positive attitude and a sunny perspective? To where had the world-changing habits gone? Why could I not seem to get up enough motivation to start changing my attitude and the way the day was going? Why was the day just not going right? Why was God not listening to me?

Now was the time to remember that I could make the day sweeter. Now I could start to smile through my weariness. Now I could start to persevere through the trials. Now I could start to sing despite the rain. Now I could take a grey day and because of my determination to be cheerful through it all, I could turn the day around and make it a day of cheerfulness to everyone around me.

I didn't. I continued to feel grey inside and out. I continued to walk around in a dizzy fog of tiredness. I continued to feel like everything was going wrong. I continued to scowl and ignore any opportunity to smile. I simply didn't have the energy to pick up my feet and dance in the rain. It has been one of those days when it seems impossible to have a better attitude.

I should have had a better attitude - but I didn't. I should have remembered and followed through on all my thoughts about being cheerful despite a grey time - but I just sat at the table and wondered why.

Today is grey and I don't have the energy to wash it clean and bright again. By myself, I can't. Right now all I can do is ask God to get me though the next moment.

I think that God understands that sometimes we are just too tired and grey to be cheerful or positive. One thing I know for sure - He will always get us though the next grey moment.